Now, we know from prior episodes of the Daily Burk, we’ll link to them in the cards up, somewhere up here.
Prior episodes, we know that dormant ties, presumably people that you knew, you knew well, you might even called friends but you haven’t talked to for a while, are the most potent source of new information because they are somewhere else in the network.
We know this is true and yet one of the questions I get often since writing Friend of a Friend, is how do I reach back out to these people? It’s just awkward, we haven’t talked to each other in a while. Well, I’ll give you two options for non-awkwardly reaching back out to weak and dormant ties.
The first requires some use of social media. So if you are connected to these old friends on Facebook, if you’re Facebook feed looks like mine, it’s just inundated with people that you met once or twice and then they’re posting about their lives.
LinkedIn is the same way, Twitter is the same way, Instagram is the same way. People often connect on this and then we let the relationship fall by the wayside which means that your newsfeed on social media is full of information from people that you know, that are likely to be your dormant ties, posting about what’s going on in their life.
So find that person that you want to reach back out to and look and see, if you’re connected on social media, what are they talking about. Usually, you can find a reason to authentically and in a way that is helpful reach back out to them. Maybe they’re announcing that they just moved to a new city, maybe they’re announcing that they’re having a baby.
Whatever it is you can find a reason just to go and say congratulations or hey, I noticed you’re moving to Seattle. Let me know if you need help with finding the right neighborhood to live in or the right restaurants to go to, or what have you.
Whatever it is that you can find that they’re posting about their life that you can use as a reason to reach back out to them. The trick is not to click like or comment on that social media account. The trick is to send something more personal. An email, a phone call, a text message, a snail mail letter if you want to.
Whatever is more personal than that medium because if you’ve ever made a big life announcement on social media you know that you are so quickly inundated with likes and comments that you can’t keep track of who is who. Now, that is number one that works really, really well if you’re connected or if that person is active on social media.
Let me give you number two which is just sent them an email. Right, when they pop into your head just send them a quick message. An email, a text message, whatever. Hey John, I was thinking about you today and I just wanted to say I hope you’re well, no reply need.
That’s a really key thing, not only for letting them know that this isn’t urgent but kind of letting people know that this is not a sales pitch or a desperate attempt for a job. No reply needed and then sign off. Now, most of the time they’re gonna reply, right? Because we love knowing that we’re on somebody else’s mind.
I mean, it’s flattering and we think it might be awkward to just reach back out to people but, let’s be honest, every single time someone said, hey, you know I saw this today and I was thinking about you and I thought I’d just say I hope you’re doing well.
That’s flattering and it’s authentic. All right, now don’t do it to like 17 people in the same day because then it’s not authentic, but take the 30 seconds when a weak tie or dormant tie pops into your head to reach back out to them and if you don’t know what else to say, just say, I hope you’re well, no reply needed and then sign off.
Right, and that’ll kickstart a conversation that’ll happen. It’ll probably happen slowly over serval months, and eventually you might be able to get at that thing that you wanted to ask them or that thing that you needed help with or that you wanted to proffer your help to them with.
But it starts with just simply reaching back out to them. If you can find a way, like through social media, to authentically offer something of value to them, awesome. If you can’t, you know what’s of value? Knowing that someone cares about you.
So just send that. It’s never awkward to receive so it’s not awkward to send. Thanks so much for watching the Daily Burk. Leave a comment, let me know how you like to reach back out to weak and dormant ties and while you are there make sure you have clicked follow or subscribe. So that you’re gonna get updated when new episodes post.